Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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