Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
