If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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