like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
