In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
