The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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