i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
