Is it because I queefed?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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