So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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