I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize