If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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