awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
