"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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