you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
