Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
