trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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