Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
