He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
