Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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