The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
