why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize