I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
