Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
