i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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