she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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