I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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