that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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