I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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