Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
