Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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