I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment