Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth http://tfl.nu/hcb6
  Replies (19) Good night (3932) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks? http://tfl.nu/42dk
  Replies (10) Good night (936) Bad night (4104)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side. http://tfl.nu/pfes
  Replies (15) Good night (4498) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs
  Replies (22) Good night (4482) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ac0o
  Replies (16) Good night (1019) Bad night (6322)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp
  Replies (13) Good night (4789) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly. http://tfl.nu/8ih5
  Replies (45) Good night (10193) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again. http://tfl.nu/7ky3
  Replies (8) Good night (2136) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please http://tfl.nu/h9fq
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet. (1-517): Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine http://tfl.nu/xagy
  Replies (4) Good night (1227) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail. http://tfl.nu/etfk
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN http://tfl.nu/5dil
  Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float. http://tfl.nu/rjkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection. http://tfl.nu/r1o6
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench http://tfl.nu/76tr
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (336)

Randomize