just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
