btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
