Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers." http://tfl.nu/20g9
  Replies (6) Good night (1709) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  All of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want? (1-812): All of them http://tfl.nu/mhdi
  Replies (42) Good night (9890) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked http://tfl.nu/rb79
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (2900)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/ezuj
  Replies (9) Good night (3999) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it? http://tfl.nu/e2vj
  Replies (12) Good night (1359) Bad night (4250)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final http://tfl.nu/g3gv
  Replies (7) Good night (2523) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking. http://tfl.nu/w53z
  Replies (11) Good night (494) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1504) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves. http://tfl.nu/ccdq
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1367) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent. http://tfl.nu/pby1
  Replies (6) Good night (1207) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"... http://tfl.nu/l31e
  Replies (7) Good night (1435) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger. http://tfl.nu/77lj
  Replies (5) Good night (1186) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

  (561): View more from Florida

  Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do? (561): Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one. http://tfl.nu/ehu8
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it. http://tfl.nu/wzpk
  Replies (5) Good night (586) Bad night (306)

Randomize