Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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(706): View more from Georgia

New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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(805): View more from California

Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.

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