Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.

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  (918): I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/mqw4
  Replies (12) Good night (3799) Bad night (717)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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  (515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9
  Replies (28) Good night (941) Bad night (5366)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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  (859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (3991)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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  (978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa
  Replies (8) Good night (4086) Bad night (1434)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  high in an attic. pig roast in 10.

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  (703): high in an attic. pig roast in 10. http://tfl.nu/5v0b
  Replies (11) Good night (3443) Bad night (965)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.

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  (269): I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you. http://tfl.nu/jro0
  Replies (9) Good night (3601) Bad night (877)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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  (915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg
  Replies (16) Good night (3957) Bad night (1471)
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  (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

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  (408): Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless. http://tfl.nu/ejtk
  Replies (19) Good night (3233) Bad night (853)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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  (615): I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed? http://tfl.nu/0gei
  Replies (22) Good night (782) Bad night (2574)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.

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  (+44): We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate. http://tfl.nu/gets
  Replies (8) Good night (1881) Bad night (554)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (526)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.

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  (541): Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion. http://tfl.nu/wgt6
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

  (415): View more from California

  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We'll talk about it later...

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  (478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (351)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high

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  (415): I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high http://tfl.nu/20fs
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (192)

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