i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
