i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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