Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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