under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
