6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
