doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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