i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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