I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
