I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
