This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
