no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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