Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
