Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
