I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
