Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
