I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
