somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
