I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
