I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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