Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
