he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
