omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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