Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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