We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
